New Girl 1.2: "Kryptonite"

By Lindsey Bahr | September 28, 2011

The Bad:

• Coach is no longer on the show. He's been replaced by their other black friend, who has been relegated to spouting off grumpy and bordering-on-offensively-arrogant side comments. There was probably a good reason Coach was written the way he was for the pilot, so once it was clear that Damon Wayans Jr. wouldn't be able to come back (his other show got picked up), THEY SHOULD HAVE RE-SHOT THE PILOT WITH THE NEW ACTOR. They claim they didn't want to re-shoot it because it was so good. Whatever you thought of the pilot, we're being asked to become invested in these characters, so at least keep them consistent with the ones that we signed up for in that pilot.
• The bathroom looks like a high school locker room and has been established as an appropriate place for group banter. Apparently, it's normal roommate behavior to brush your teeth with your other craigslist roommates while another showers.
• The boys come to save Jess through public spectacle and humiliation. Again. Last week, they serenaded her with "I've Had The Time Of My Life" in a restaurant. This week, they put on silly hats as an act of solidarity. We've only spent 44 minutes with these characters and it seems they're already in a rut.
• The boys are thrown a bone with a storyline this week, but in the quest to sabotage Schmidt out of his big room through reverse psychology about his "top dog" status in the house, they come across as a G-rated, less funny version of the It's Always Sunny gang.
• The theme song. I hate it. I'd rather watch the cotton commercial.

The Good:

• Jess has toned it down a little bit this week. Instead of playing the gleeful idiot, Zooey's using her signature monotone to deliver most of her lines. Unfortunately for her, as far as dark-haired, big-eyed girls with bangs and deep voices, her deadpan will always be second to Aubrey Plaza, especially if she continues with this Pollyanna act.
• Schmidt emerged as the MVP. In a very no-big-deal moment at the end of the episode, after Jess rattles off her movie options (Prancer, Curly Sue, Newsies, Adventures in Babysitting) and the guys quickly evacuate the room, Schmidt comes back and requests Curly Sue ("Let's do this"). It sounds obnoxious, but it's quick and Max Greenfield pulls it off.
• "Didn't you just assume he'd have a handlebar mustache?"
• There's nothing like an "everyone in the car" scene to bring the banter to life. I'd suggest more car, less bathroom for everyone's sake.
• Blind Melon. Vanessa Williams. Random enough to be sort of funny.

The Point:

This show still isn't anything yet, it's not very funny, and it moves too slowly for what we've become accustomed to with other single-camera comedies. I also fear that this episode was an attempt to shed Zooey's icy (500) Days of Summer image by making her weak and heartbroken. I'll be back mid-season to analyze the state of things, unless anything strikes me as particularly awful or brilliant in between.